Students Again

Part One:

Original: When Attorney General Bowers learned that the planned wedding was to another woman, he withdrew the job offer stating in a letter that the purported marriage would “jeopardize the proper function of this office.”

Revision: Gay marriage is unacceptable at this firm. If potential employees or current employees plan to engage in this immoral activity, they are not welcome at this firm.

Part Two:

Quote: “[David] Sobel [general counsel for the Electronic Privacy Information Center] said his group is hoping for a new federal bill addressing the matter.”We would really like to see legislation that goes beyond requiring notice and establishes employee rights," Sobel said. Specifically, EPIC is hoping for legislation that would develop standards for computer monitoring and outline when there are prohibitions on it.” Response: I do not agree with this expert’s opinion. I think that employers should have the right to monitor the computers in the workplace. I understand the personal privacy side of this argument and personally do not like being watched. However, once I leave my house in the morning I do not expect privacy anywhere. Overhead and taxes are the two largest expenses for businesses. If employees do not have a deterrent and take advantage of not being monitored this could have adverse effects on the business. The bottom line is that the employers own the equipment and pay for the services that employees are using. Employers provide equipment and services with the expectation that they are enabling their employees to do their work effectively. Employees are at their jobs to do one thing, and that is to work! MLA Citation: Bowman, Lisa M. “Judges protest workplace surveillance.” c|net News.com. 10 Aug. 2001. 25 June 2006. http://news.com.com/Judges+protest+workplace+surveillance/2100-1023_3-271457.html.

Part Three:

Definition: Parallel ideas linked with correlative conjunction. Correlative conjunctions come in pairs: not only…but also, neither…nor, both…and. Grammar structure in the second half of the pair is the same as the first half.

Original: Michael was not only the star quarterback but the valedictorian of the 2006 graduation class.

Correct: Michael was not only the star quarterback but also the valedictorian of the 2006 graduation class.

Part One:

Words:

-CD

-Download

-Profits

Academic: What would warrant someone to illegally download music? Many people believe that the music industry takes advantage of their artist and their customers. The music industry is known for charging up to $20 per CD that they release, but only giving their artist five cents per CD that is sold. They are the leading advocates of preventing piracy because they say that piracy hurts their profits; however, the music industry still posts record profits year after year. These are reasons enough for some people to download all the music that they can.

Conversational: I just bought another six month CD at a 5.0% interest rate. The broker at the bank said that I can download software from their website to keep track of all my finances. Hopefully my profits for the year will be well over $5,000.

Part Two:

I 100% agree. I can't stand the concept of grades. I would love that pressure to be relieved and be able to just relax and learn for the sake of learning. Grades can be very misleading in "showing what you know." It's like "putting the cart before the horse"... I may get mediocre grades on homework, test, quizzes, and papers that I have a mediocre knowledge of at the time. Then after additional study and/or consultation by my professors and peers I may gain a greater knowledge of the subject. However, the grade I receive (and the grade that will contribute to my final grade) is based on what I know in a subject I may have never studied until registering for the class. Some professors really seem to love this. Some professors love to give very difficult questions (Ex. obscure, long worded when the question could be fairly straight forward, questions that are reminiscent of upper division classes when you are still in a beginning class). I think these particular professors, are well intentioned, that is to say, challenging you, really trying to get you to learn something, and more importantly trying to get you to think for yourself. Even though it is usually a given that I may really learn and benefit form a class like that more than some of the other "fluff" classes, it doesn’t change the fact that my grade may be getting destroyed in the process. You could argue that the knowledge I gained was reward enough and the grade doesn't matter. However, in the real world, as Linda began to allude to, grades matter. Grades matter to universities when you apply, then graduate schools (if you decide to go), and some employers even ask to see copies of transcripts because they want to see the grades you earned in certain classes to help gauge their decision to hire you. In the real world grades matters allot... they could mean the difference between certain employment, being allowed to further your schooling career, and many other things. I don't exactly have the solution to this problem. Maybe if professors only assigned work based on the lectures and readings in a clear straight forward format and save the challenging to be presented in a context that doesn't affect my final results in a beginning class. In lower division classes I think professors have no business being to challenging to begin with, in most cases these classes are classes that students are required to take, they are the students first experience with the subject, and (in many cases) are not planning to major in the subject. Lower division classes are meant to prepare you for upper division classes, not destroy you before you get there. Lower division classes are supposed to build the foundation so you can survive in an upper division class. I mean, you can’t automatically have a building (as some professors seem to ignore) you need a brick first. Upper division classes are the appropriate venue for professors to be scholarly to their hearts content. Upper division classes are classes filled with students who probably are majoring in the subject, who have already had a few classes on the subject, and who are on their way to being able to think critically in that given subject.

Part Three:

The most common error that shows up in my writing is run-on sentences. I tend to write how I think, more like stream-of-consciousness writing. One way I can easily correct this is to take my time and separate my thoughts by some type of punctuation. It’s easier said than done. I also have my wife help me edit my work and she also explains why things have to be written a certain way.

Error Sentence: I don’t know what time she came home last night it was pretty late though.

Correct Sentence: I don’t know what time she came home last night, but it was pretty late though.

Part one:

Original paragraph: This year for our anniversary we decided to go to Lake Las Vegas and stay at the Monte Lago Resort. Locals frequently flock to this resort to get away from the hustle and bustle of the Las Vegas strip. Not only is Lake Las Vegas quiet and serene, but also is an inexpensive alternative trip to the Pacific coast. There are many activities to do that cost under $20, including a free jazz festival every Friday night, paddle boats rides, and endless sunbathing.

Paraphrasing: Lake Las Vegas was an inexpensive choice they made for their anniversary trip. Instead of spending a lot of money for a trip to the Pacific coast, like most locals, they went to the Monte Lago Resort to avoid the busy Las Vegas strip. The resort also provided many amenities for them to take advantage of during their stay.

Summarizing: They went to Lake Las Vegas for their anniversary to have a quiet and inexpensive trip.

Part two:

Sentence: Small SUVs were involved in rollover crashes more than four times as often as the average passenger car.

Citation: “SUVs: Escalating Risk On The Highway.” the SUV info link. n.d. 29 May 2006. <http://www.suv.org/safety.html#N_1_>.

Response: Yes, I think this information was credible. This information is credible because the data obtained to make this statement was provided by The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety is a nonprofit organization whose main purpose is to investigate the causes and prevention of motor vehicle crashes.

Part three:

A part of MLA that I would want to change is the way the Works Cited page is presented. The item in particular is the double-spacing throughout the page. I think MLA wanted it presented this way for ease of reading, but I find the double-spacing a little difficult to read. I think it would be better if each entry was single-spaced and double-spaced in between each new entry. I do not think that this would be an improvement of the Works Cited page. I just think it would look better if the each of the entries was single-spaced. If you single-space the entries you can certainly tell which line goes with a particular entry.

Part 1:

Stereotyping fallacy:

Every time I drive to work there is always someone who cuts me off, swerves over three lanes right in front of me just to make their turn, and just pulls out in my lane when there are two other lanes that are absolutely clear. Lo and behold, it’s someone with a California license plate. I am always leery when I see a car with a California license plate because I know that the driver will always drive erratically and do something foolish.

Part 2:

Justin frantically phoned his buddy Johnny to see if he would accompany him to the Nike store at Forum Shops at Caesars. He needed to get the new Lebron James Nike Royale Air Force Ones limited edition like he saw in Maxim. They would be perfect for hanging out. Justin picked up Johnny and headed to the Forum Shops. He decided to valet park at Caesars because he was driving his father’s Mercedes and thought it would be safer for the car to be valet parking instead of the self-parking garage. They raced through the casino, past Celine’s coliseum, and into the Forum Shops. With dad’s credit card in hand, Justin dashed into the store and grabbed the only pair of Lebron Air Force Ones. But to his disappointment, the last pair was a size 8. He wore a size 10. Johnny suggested that Justin just buy them anyway since they were the only pair left. Justin gave the credit card to the sales clerk and bought the shoes. Since he just bought a pair of shoes he could not wear for hanging out, they went to another store to buy a pair of BAPEs. Although his trip to the Forum Shops didn’t get him the Lebron James shoes in his size, he was still happy that he got a $300 pair of BAPEs to wear hanging out.

ANALYSIS: Teenagers these days are often too materialistic and have a lot of their parent’s disposable income to use anyway they want. This is not an exception; this is becoming the norm. Maybe the price of the item is not $300 for a sneaker but the concept is still there.

Part 3:

Distinguishing between it’s and its:

Original: Its a bad idea to go out drinking the night before a test.

To correct this sentence, “its” needs to change to “it’s” because ”it is” is used as a contraction.

Correction: It’s a bad idea to go out drinking the night before a test.

Question mark within quotation marks:

Original: She said, “Why are these papers all over the floor”?

To correct this sentence, the question mark needs to be inside the quotation mark since it’s apart of the original source.

Correction: She said, “Why are these papers all over the floor?”

Part One:

In the article “True or False: Schools Fail Immigrants” by Richard Rothstein, the author uses background information on immigrants and public schools in his introduction. He provides comparative information of how immigrants fared in public schools from the earlier years to the present. This information provides the readers some knowledge needed to help understand the author’s position in the article. He uses an informative tone when introducing this information. I think this introduction is appropriate for a critical response assignment. The information he states allows the reader to analyze the article for evidence that supports the introduction.

Part Two:

I do not agree with the author’s opinion on competition. Getting rid of competition would create a falsehood. In nature, there is competition. It is survival of the fittest. If sports or games were convert to an obstacle instead of competition, what happens when these kids are faced with actual competition as adults? They will not be prepared or even know how to compete with others if not taught earlier in life. Sports are a good way for children to learn how to compete. They will know how to work hard and improve themselves. What about the psychological impact when they don’t get that job when they become adults because they do not know how to compete. Things are not just given; they have to be earned.

I have a cousin that joined the cheerleading squad in junior high. This school did not have try-outs for these girls to become cheerleaders. They thought that competition would be bad for these kids. So whoever signed up got to be a cheerleader. Later, the high school that she did attended did have try-outs for the cheerleading squad. She had lots of fun while on the junior high squad. When it was try-out time at the high school, most of the girls did not fare well and did not make the team. They were so disappointed and wish they did have try-outs in junior high. Some felt if they did have some type of competition to be on the junior high squad then they would be prepared for the high school squad.

Part Three:

Connecting independent clause error: He signed a lease for a new vehicle but he does not have any car insurance.

The sentence can be corrected by placing the comma between the independent clauses before the conjunction.

Correction: He signed a lease for a new vehicle, but he does not have any car insurance.

Error after although: Although, he colors his hair, he still looks old.

The sentence can be corrected removing the comma that is after “although”.

Correction: Although he colors his hair, he still looks old.

Part One:

Inductive reasoning: When you come to conclusion about something because of a few things you observe. The conclusion is not certain.

Inductive example: I bought a foreign car and it keeps breaking down. My sister also bought the same car and her car also breaks down. Foreign cars will always break down.

Deductive reasoning: A series of statements that are true and a conclusion can be made from those true statements. The conclusion is certain.

Deductive example: Only people that passed the bar exam the first time can work at the law firm of Cross and Associates, LLP. Michael works for Cross and Associates, LLP. Therefore, Michael must have passed the bar exam his first time.

Part Two:

Thesis: In the article titled Americans Entitled to Cheap Gas – Right? Joan Ryan states, “Therefore, since this situation is not of our own making, we should not have to pay higher gas prices and give up the big-car life to which we have become accustomed.” I believe this is the central theme of her article. In other words, we have had all of these extravagant, highly unnecessary, products forced upon us in every aspect of our everyday life. This is not our fault because we do not decide the production details of these items and, therefore, should not have to suffer the consequences of owning these items. This article is written in a highly sarcastic tone. However, when I offer my opinion I will focus on what the author is saying in the article, rather than what I really think she might be trying to say through the use of sarcasm. I do not agree with this author. The self indulgent nature of Americans is based on the principle of supply and demand. We demand big cars, blueberry muffins the size of our head, soda cups large enough to harbor small children, and unhealthy fast food and industry supplies this demand. Therefore, we deserve to suffer the consequences that are derived from these products of excess (namely high gas prices). Through the sarcastic tone of this article, I believe this is the point the author really wishes to convey. If the author would have stated this in a strait forward manner, rather than though the use of sarcasm, I would agree with her position on the subject.

Online Source: Indeed, while Europeans have learned to cope with expensive fuel (mostly due to taxes), there's scant evidence yet that US drivers are adopting their conservation tactics." Societies adjust over decades to higher fuel prices," says Jos Dings, head of Transport and Energy, a coalition of European environmental NGOs. "They find many mechanisms." Chief among them, say experts, is the habit of driving smaller and more fuel-efficient cars. While the average light duty vehicle on US highways gets 21.6 miles per gallon (m.p.g.), according to a study by the Paris based International Energy Agency (IEA), in Paris, its European counterpart manages 32.1 m.p.g.  “European consumers are very sensitive to fuel economy and sophisticated about engine options," says Lew Fulton, a transport analyst with the United Nations Environment Program (UNEP). "European car magazines are full of comparisons of fuel costs over the life of a vehicle."

MLA: Ford, Peter. “Gas prices too high? Try Europe.” The Christian Science Monitor. 26 August 2005. 11 June 2006. http://www.csmonitor.com/2005/0826/p01s03-woeu.html.

In this article, Peter Ford uses the authoritative warrant. Throughout the article he compares the mindset of Europeans versus the American mindset in relation to fuel economy. The author’s points are based on the credibility of authoritative sources from governmental agencies.

Part Three:

Possession error: A dogs chew toy fell in the pool.

To correct this sentence, place the apostrophe before the “s” in dogs. Dog is singular and should contain the apostrophe to show possession.

Correct possession: A dog’s chew toy fell in the pool.

Creating names into plural error: The Johnson’s invited us to their new home for dinner.

To correct the error, the apostrophe should be removed from the name.

Correct plural name: The Johnsons invited us to their new home for dinner.

Part 2:

I agree with Jacob Neusner’s stance that college does not prepare college students for the real world in his article “The Speech the Graduates Didn’t Hear”. However, I do not believe that college is even meant to prepare us for the real world. College is a controlled institutional environment which is based on academics, not on how to function in society. To think that college is meant to prepare students for the real world would be false. Being prepared is a matter of whether you are able to interact in the correct context of a particular situation or not. Your academic knowledge will only take you so far in the real world. Take my wife for instance; she has a bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering.

All of the academic principles she learned throughout school gave her more knowledge about academic subjects, which was self-fulfilling for her. Did all her physics, high level mathematics courses, and circuits classes really prepared her for the real world. No, they did not. The academics opened the door for a better job, not to prepare her for the real world.

“About 73 percent of college students do not feel that college prepares them for the practical skills needed when living on their own after graduation, according to a survey of college students around the U.S. taken by Cap & Compass. It seems most graduates learn these skills through friends or trial and error, Vickey, cofounder of Cap & Compass, said.”

Author: Elizabeth Crosbie

Publication: Indiana Daily Student (http://www.idsnews.com/news/print.php?id=9052)

PART ONE:

I think this is one of the worst sentences in my paper. I believe the structure of this sentence doesn’t allow my thought to be accurately portrayed. It is written in an awkward confusing way.

In John Patrick Diggins article, “The Pursuit of Whining: Affirmative Action circa 1776”, he states that the purpose of the Declaration of Impendence was to blame the dire conditions in which the colonies operated was the sole fault of the British rule.

PART TWO:

The advertisement I chose is by Encompass Insurance and is located on page 51 in the Elements of Argument book. The main point of this advertisement is that Encompass insurance policies are better than other insurance policies because they cover “pretty much everything” even if it is not specifically listed in the policy. This company used a humorous example of “damage caused by chopping down cherry tree” to reinforce their “pretty much everything” policy. By connecting these two ideas it creates the image of trust us (the insurance company) that it is pretty much everything that is covered by the policy. This is accomplished by creating a connection between the story of George Washington’s story of chopping down a cherry tree and they key phrase of “I can not tell a lie” that most people are familiar with and the coverage intentions. The selective use of words and ideas make you want to believe this company. However, if you do end up having a claim that is not listed in your policy will they honor it? If they don’t will you have any recourse?

If I was going to offer advice to a friend about how to improve their writing style for scholarly assignments I would explain the following:

Grammar: I would advise to take care in avoiding comma splices. This is such a common grammar error. I make this error all of the time. I would explain that a comma splice is when you join two complete sentences with a comma. To correct this error examine sentences you write that contain commas. During your examination compare the clauses that are separated by the comma. If each clause can act as an independent sentence then you have found a comma splice. The fix will depend on the particular situation. There are four possible fixes that could be used. The four possible fixes are (1) Separate the two clauses by replacing the comma with a period, (2) replace the comma with a semi-colon, (3) add a conjunction (there are actually two ways to do this – using a coordinating or subordinating conjunction), and (4) replace the comma with a semi-colon and use a transitional word.

Content: My advice would be to elaborate on the main points that you wish to make. Adequately show that you have a full knowledge of the subject. A good way to accomplish this is by providing supporting examples after you have introduced a new concept. This practice will provide clarity and show your knowledge. Here is a way to accomplish this task.

Sentence: The correct way to denote a dollar figure in writing would be to add a dollar sign before writing the number. If the number is higher than one thousand then include a comma after the number of thousands represented while still including the beginning dollar sign.

Example: For example, five hundred dollars could be written as $500 or ten thousand dollars could be written as $10,000.

MLA: For MLA advice I would explain how to cite familiar historical documents. For familiar historical documents, such as the Constitution or Declaration, it is not necessary to include a listing for the document in the works cited page under MLA guidelines. In these cases the only MLA requirement is to cite the source in your text. For example, if I were to use the following quote in a paper the citation at the end is the only MLA necessity: “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” (Declaration of Independence, 1776). Under MLA guidelines it is no longer required to also include an entry (in this case for the Declaration of Independence) in your works cited page.